Life is, fragile.

it's mid week, lets hope all of you guys in nus are having a great time back to school.

projects have been slowly building up its pace in my schedule! i foresee this term to be really busy and tough to score because i have quite strict profs and i really haven't been speaking much in class for class participation ): all the students seem tooo smart to outsay them in anything! i really really need God's grace. speaking of which, i'm going to join Biz com - a cca in school so that i can do something different in campus too - not just mere academic studies. tomorrow is the orientation camp, let's hope it will be a great one (:

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anyway, this afternoon i received a sms informing me that my sister's friend has passed away.

a couple of months ago, i remember sharing the story of this girl, anna, to guanzhen joyce and ivy at mark & spencer before service.

one fine day she just turned yellow (a day/week after her birthday) and she was admitted to the hospital. then a series of viral infection attacked her spine and her entire immune system went down the drain. her white blood cells count was almost zero (and we all know White blood cells are the crux to fighting our immune system). even the doctors couldnt diagnosed what was wrong. they could only tell it's some strong virus. she has been battling with this sickness for a few months. every time my sister share with me her condition, i cant help but to feel a really deep sense of sadness. maybe because i know who she is and seen her before (though not a personal friend to her).

you know, she's so young, so young. my sister visited her twice in the hospital and once, she came back and shared about how touched her friend was to see her. they were secondary school friends and havent met in years. it must be such joy. but behind that smile, she told my sister she's so tired of battling the cycle of jabs and pain, and she wants to go Home. her family related how she'll scream and yell because she has to go for jabs at her spinal area and blood tests every few hours. it must hurt so much.

at her condition, the doctor estimated for her to live for 2 months. her biological sister kept this fact from her mom, and her - so that she wont lose the will to live, and will continue to fight the virus. i cannot decide whether keeping the truth from her was a wise choice.
but again - imagine if she knew she only has two months to live, her physical body and mind would lose all motivation to fight on and sink in a "might as well.." mode.

it got me questioning - what will you do if you had a choice; would you rather know you're gonna die in 2 months (so you can do all that you want to do), or not know at all?

the sms i received this afternoon just caught me by surprise. it reminded me about how fragile human life is. it sounds really cliche but it really is. imagine turning yellow while having lunch one fine day, and the next moment you know - you're lying in the hospital bed. where you're destined to be for the next half a year, battling a unknown virus to the medical world, even. only God knows.

i figured that keeping the truth from her may be the right choice afterall. at least now we can say she has fought the good fight, she has finished the race & kept the faith. God has brought her home today.

- ah ju