From the inside out

For me, Chinese New Year was the same where we visit many relatives consecutively for 2 days. After the first day, at night, I really wanted to go home cos had a lot of things to settle, be it school or church . But then, my parents wanted us to go with them to their annual friends’ gathering. So I reluctantly agreed. I’m glad I went, because i learnt that one of my friends had been joining Hope Brisbane activities altho she is not yet a Christian and i told her i went to Hope SG. I also got to see thru a telescope that another friend brought n saw the supernova & seven sisters. I said sth abt how God created them n another younger guy, in sec sch, was like, ‘you’re a Christian ah’ and i nodded. Although these were just very small moments, probably forgettable by them 10 years down the road, but to me, it made CNY more meaningful just to be a witness and say i'm a Christian.

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The same situation occured on e 2nd day of CNY. Parents wanted to go to aunt’s house for dinner and I wanted to go home. I went, but inside, emotionally stressed cos of the mounting load i was thinkin abt. When we reached, I went to rest in my cousin’s room cos was tired. She’s also a Christian and i was glad to have some time alone in her rm. Then while resting, I had this image, I think it’s from God. I don’t know where it came from or how it suddenly came into my mind… it was a picture of a lot of files that have not been cleared, like accounts not settled. And yet new files kept coming in. So there were more and more files accumulating…

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Then it really struck me that this was the description of me. The files were my life. The old files were the finances I have not gotten in order, the mess on my table that has yet to be cleared, the proposal to be done, the concerns I want to pray about when my heart is tugged at during the past week. These accumulated because of procrastination, foolishly indulging in recreation (slacking!), the trap of busyness etc. And yet, new files kept coming in! Another group project presentation, more social work meetings, planning for DCLTP activities, a new book that I started etc. That’s why I was so stressed. But after having this image, I felt much lighter. It’s like a revelation from God.

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At night, or only just now, I finally settled the most crucial file. The most important – re-aligning my relationship with God through worship and prayer! I prayed to God about all these. And His reminder to me was that all these are really just things on the outside which appear to need so much attention (and they do, not that they don’t), things like studies, family, care group, sheep etc. But then, to get things on the outside right and in order, it actually starts from the inside – the inner being where the real relationship with God lies. Am I surrendering all these to Him? Am I allowing Him more room to work in my life? Am I choosing to submit these areas of my life into His Lordship? What’s really most important is not all these external things, it’s really my relationship with God.

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Pastor Jeff said this is going to be a year of spiritual preparation. And spiritual preparation starts from the inside. There’s a lot of dirt that God is going to dig out and a lot of work that God wants to do on the inside. And through all these, it is then His grace and glory which flows out to all that is on the outside and make things work out. Yup, so a v gd lesson learnt thru CNY. And here's a fellow sinner telling another -- how's ur inside? let God work in it. Anyway, here's an accompanying song to enjoy: From the Inside Out (Hillsongs) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwJEdo1FlMo

- Ah Guan